Whatever is going on in my life is invariably reflected back to me by the clients who walk in and out of my door every day.  I hear them sometimes like I am hearing something for the very first time.  In essence, I am, because every situation is unique and what is being said will never be said in quite the same way to me again. Resonance is all important here.  You know when you are hearing something that you were meant to 'get'.

Messengers are everywhere, you just have to learn to look out and to listen for them.  Chance meetings with strangers, a conversation with a shop assistant or somebody on the train.  I believe there are no accidents in life and as my antenna becomes more and more highly tuned and receptive, I am able to recognise when opportunities present themselves.

Hone your awareness and start to notice the messengers that show up in your life on a day to day basis.  Today somebody said to me "I don't know if you understand this, but you know beyond any doubt when something is right for you and that you should follow it with all of your heart".  I understood exactly what was being said to me.  I am never short of advice from friends and family and value all of them dearly.  It reminded me that there is absolutely no substitute for your reliable radar, otherwise known as intuition.  Learning to recognise messengers and follow your intuition helps to simply life and to avoid over complicating things that are really very simple.   

I wonder if you, like me, felt a reticence to let go of the summer season as we began to slip into autumn?  Here in the UK, the end of British Summer Time (BST) was marked by the usual change of the clocks as they dropped back by one hour last weekend.  Lighter in the morning for a while but darker, quicker in the evening.   The lure of hibernation is just as real for human beings as it is for the animal kingdom.  There are a few differences of course, we watch a little more TV and punctuate the darker months with a series of festivals to keep us in a cheery mood.

We adapt very quickly.  Within a couple of weeks of experiencing a change in the daylight hours, we are used to our new reality.  The anticipation of change of course, is often far more daunting than the reality when it arrives.  By the time spring arrives, you may find yourself lamenting about the wonderful times you spent warming yourself by an open fire, reflecting on the positive aspects of the winter season.  It is interesting to think about how much resistance we experience from day to day in anticipating change and wondering how we are going to adapt.

If you could harness all of the insights that you have gathered over the years, about how things work out much easier than you had anticipated, what would you do with all of the recouped energy?  Acceptance is a key component of adapting to anything.  When we learn to accept that perpetual change is the norm and that we somehow adapt, we can reclaim a sense of reconciled peace of mind.  Carry that thought with you in everything that you do.  Learn from past experience and approach your challenges and changes and in a much gentler way.  Remember that you have an extraordinary ability to adapt to any situation and to choose your own reality.

I keep a file of inspiring or thought provoking material that I am sent.  Clearing through paperwork a couple of days ago, I came across this.  I have no idea who the author is so I am unable to acknowledge the creator by name.   It is simple and poignant and goes like this:-

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life.  "A fight is going on inside me", he said to the boy.  "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.  One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies,  false pride, superiority, and ego.  the other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.  This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too"  The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather which wolf would win.  The old Cherokee simply replied........"The one you feed."

This is one of my favourite quotes from Virginia Woolf - The English Novelist 1182 - 1941.  I had dinner with a friend and fellow therapist last night and we reflected on the poignant nature of the film 'The Hours' portraying the lives of three different women from three different eras, one of them being Virgina Woolf.  I love the kind of films that leave you thinking for days and weeks about them. 

I also use Virginia's quote in training courses and seminars.  When people are faced with change, especially change that may seem unwelcome, the first reaction can be one of resentment, resitance or powerlesness.  The one thing in life that you can be certain of is perpetual change.  If your life is changing and you are not entirely sure which direction you are taking, examine the pieces that you have available.

You might put your pieces into categories such as: relationships, wealth, job/career, health, contribution, fun & recration, family etc.  Only when you have them laid out before you, can you begin to arrange them in a way that somehow satisfies somthing within you.

If you play scrabble or card games, you will be used to making the best of your hand or your letters.  The changing events in your life are you pieces and as you learn to arrange whatever come your way, you will always have a good feeling of being in control.  

It is really easy to lose perspective when you look at things in a certain light.  You may discover that the job you have been in for a number of years is under threat or is moving elsewhere.  You may be experiencing shifts in your personal relationships.  Remember that it is at these times of change that the gravity of the past is perhaps at its strongest.  There may be a temptation to sink back into old feelings of being powerless or feeling a sense of some despair. 

It is important to take a step back and remind yourself of what is true and what is actually imagined.  What are the facts?  When you deal with fact, you get your sense of perspective back.  If you are the kind of person who 'feels' their way through life, this may be more of a challenge for you.  Your experience is likely to be based on how you are feeling right at this moment or how you recall having felt in a past situation.

Remember that moment by moment a new reality unfolds and you get to choose how that reality looks and feels.  When you feel you have limited choices, the choice you will always have is to decide how you are going to let circumstances affect you. 

The recent Tsunami and the earthquakes in Sumatra reminded me yesterday of some of the things that are really important.  Life!  Having the choice to get up every morning and make a decision about how great your day will be.  Most of us live in an environment that is free from natural disasters, famines and war.  We are luckier than a great deal of the world's population.  Reflect, be grateful for all that you have and get a sense of your personal perspective back.

I had lunch last week with a friend and ex-work colleague Minu.  We had not seen each another for at least 5 years, although we have kept in touch via email and my newsletters.  We picked up right were we had left off and I always think that is a measure of a great friendship.  She responded to a request that I made to discuss contract assignment possibilities within the company that she works for.

We had lots to catch up on and the conversation flowed.  We could probably have spent the rest of the day and that evening chatting.  One of the things that I love the most about Minu is that she has the ability to look beyond your words and sense what else is going on (coupled with a wicked sense of humour).  Minu had lived in the US for some time and whilst there she worked with Landmark Education running and facilitating the Landmark Forum.  I did the Forum here in London back in 1992.  Admittedly, I was not wholly ready for the lessons in total responsibility at that time.  Looking back though, this course laid a very valuable foundation for many things.  I noticed how valuable that was when I was with Minu.  I realised that we speak the same language, in fact everybody I have met who has done the Landmark Forum has that appreciation. 

During conversation, she asked me if my game was big enough and I immediately knew the answer, no, it wasn't.  That realisation was so valuable.  It was almost as if she had looked inside of my very soul and noticed that something was missing.  Every now and again we need people to ask us those great questions.  So I am now asking you also, is your game big enough?  If it isn't then what do you need to do to get energised and exacted about your future and to make the present even more valuable. 

The very next day I went to a 50th Birthday celebration of a friend who has a very big game. He is founder and owner of an organisation called ICROSS or the International Community for the Relief of Starvation and Suffering.  Mike Meegan had a vision when he was a young man that he could make a real difference in the world to people who were suffering.  His dream was big and after having spent over 30 years in Africa he has raised millions and helped countless people who have experienced suffering of the kind that hopefully you and I will never experience. 

I am not saying that your dream needs to be of that magnitude, it does need to be big enough to excite you, give you butterflies in your stomach and get you out of bed in the morning before the alarm sounds. 

I wonder if we when we look back on this period in years to come, we will remember it as another winter of discontent.  The winter of 1978 and 1979 was labelled as such due to widespread strikes in the UK and trade union activism.  Whilst we don't have widespread strikes, we have had the worst winter in 20 years or more and the shrinking economy is beginning to reveal cracks in the infrastructures of small and large businesses alike.  If we choose to accept the reality that is being presented, then the years ahead don't look promising, particularly in the UK.

The truth is, each and everyone of us will experience a reality that is defined by our ability to respond to our environment.  My next door neighbour in Harley Street is a Kinesiologist, Kineseiology is about muscle testing.  A very simple explanation of this therapy is a test of your muscular reactions to certain thoughts and feelings.  For example, if you are stood upright with your right arm extended out at right angles, I then ask you to think about something that you are uncomfortable about, or fearful of, AND I then start pressing down on your right arm, it will invariably fold down by your side very quickly.  If I then repeat the same exercise, except this time I ask you to think confident and and purposeful thoughts, you will notice that as I press down on your arm, it will resist the pressure being asserted upon it.  

What kind of extraordinary belief system do you need to employ to strengthen your muscle groups?    If you set out on a journey expecting it to be difficult, you will find difficulty.  Your mind is filtering and searching for it, and of course, you find what you are looking for.  'Fake it till you make it' is a useful way to lull yourself into new patterns of thinking, especially when there appears to be internal parts of you that are resistant, or doubting.  If your expectation is a different one, the kind that just expects that you will discover some amazing new things about your resourcefulness, you will notice that new opportunities show up.

In a snow covered West London suburb last week, I took to heading off to the supermarket by foot and I noticed a difference in people that I met whilst out.  They seemed more caring and courteous.  They took time to help one another.  I smiled at this experience and thought about the months and years ahead and realised that there are untold opportunities for different levels of contentment and new depths to human behaviour.  Out of adversity come the richest gifts. 

1.       Be vigilant about limiting your exposure to negative news about the state of the economy.  Remember that TV isn’t called programming for nothing!   The perpetual broadcast of negative messages can build a collective consciousness of fear, uncertainty and doubt.    

2.       You get what you think about the most.  If your expectations are based on demise and hardship, there is every possibility that you are becoming an irresistible magnet for attracting the very things that you don’t want, simply by thinking about them all the time.  Focus on what you DO want. 

3.       Remember that 80% of things that we worry about never actually happen.  Ask yourself how much time am I u spending worrying about things that will never manifest.  What else could you be doing with this time?  How much more energy could you have?

4.       If you are concerned about your personal finances, avoid burying your head in the sand and get absolute clarity about your current position.  Seek the advice of an independent financial expert and then put a plan in place to deal with it.  Taking action will produce positive results and give added peace of mind that you have done something about it.

5.       Look after your physiological and psychological well being by eating a wide range of fresh fruits and vegetables.  Avoid processed foods and take regular exercise.  Healthy and vigorous exercise (always check first with a health professional) produces a natural flow of endorphins – or happy brain chemicals.  Make sure that you get enough sleep.  A rested mind is usually a much more positive and productive one!

6.       Make sure that you read something positive each day.  Many of my client subscribe to blogs or daily newsletters that contain inspiring story’s or quotes.  Augment your library with uplifting literature.

7.       If you have been made redundant this may be a chance for you to start up your own business or realise an idea that you have been sitting on for years.  In the last economic slump in the early 90’s there were a record number of new start up businesses, many of which became successful.  Remember that in the midst of adversity there is always an opportunity.  Develop and irresistible curiosity for seeking out opportunity.

8.       Surround yourself with positive people who will encourage you and support your thinking and ideas.  The environment you choose to live in will shape your thoughts and ideas.

9.       Remember that everything moves on, good or bad.  The current economic crisis will not last forever and however difficult things may seem now, there will  ALWAYS be some positive aspects that you can embrace.

10.   Take some time each and every day to write down the things that you are grateful for, no matter how small they are.  This is a very powerful way to focus the mind into a pattern of positive thinking.

11.   Switch off the TV and pick up a great book.  Meet some friends or take up a creative activity and stimulate your mind in a different way.

12.   Take action each and every day to move you a step closer to where you want to be.  No matter how small that action may be. Sowing seeds will ensure that your garden blossoms when the sun comes out again!

When I was walking back from the Gym yesterday, I couldn't help but notice a larger than life billboard poster with a picture of very cute little baby that read "his eyes, her nose and Gordon's Brown's debt" - it was a campaign poster from the conservative party.  It capitalises on people's current fears of lack.  I don't watch the news, but I do have my Internet browser's homepage set the BBC News page, and of course there are constant reminders on there of the severity of the economic decline in the UK.  Whilst I love the information age that we live in, there is also a negative aspect to the 'mass broadcast' of bad news.  It is a powerful medium for transmitting fear and negativity.  It is therefore really important that you learn to insulate yourself from this kind of energy. 

There are several ways that you can do this.  An NLP strategy is to do something called re-framing.  Simplistically if you look at a picture in a frame it looks a certain way.  If you were to put a new frame around it, perhaps in a different colour, with a different width and maybe made of a different material, it would give the picture a different perspective.  So for example when you read that a survey at the end of 2008 shows a frightening decline in the UK economy, you can re-frame that with 'isn't it great to know that we have a new year ahead of us to redress the balance and make a positive impact.'  Get the picture?  The other important thing will be not allowing yourself to yield to the fear.  Mass media messaging is the quickest way to permeate fear, but only if you allow it to happen.  You can either limit yourself to the media exposure in the first instance, or choose to focus on positive aspects of your own current situation, or to visualise and remember things that you know make you feel good.  If you consider how much negative energy and fear is being generated each and every day, you have big responsibility to generate more positive energy.  Avoid talking about the same things as the business analysts are talking about, and if you do, add something in there with ideas about how it could be improved.  Remember that in the midst of every adverse condition, there is always an opportunity.

Remember that over a third of the world are starving.  They don't even have enough food to put into their belly's.  The problems that they face are of true hardship and survival.  The closure of some high street stores and manufacturers is inevitable.  History tells us that recession is inevitable, just as drought and famine is inevitable.  The truth is, we don't need more consumer goods, holidays, homes etc.... we need to be grateful for what we already have and also think about how we can help those who are less fortunate than ourselves.  Start to actively seek the opportunities that exist in adversity and surely you will find them.  If you look for the cracks, you will find those too.  Now ask yourself, where is my energy best placed.  You can subscribe to mass fear and hysteria or you can choose your own positive mindset and start generating some good energy.  Remember that you can operate out of two fundamental states - Fear or Inspiration.  Which one will you choose?

I hope you have enjoyed a break, if you have taken one over the festive season.  I did, I haven't written since the 18th of December.  It is always good to take some time out and do other things.  During my holiday break I was signed on to Skype the day before Christmas Eve and found a dear friend on line.  As it turned out, she was in Perth - down under spending Christmas with her parents.  We both have webcams so we got to see one another and I got to meet her mother on line for the first time.  I smiled at the thought of what was occurring.  Sat in the comfort of my office chair I am talking to, and looking at, somebody who is at the other side of the world.  I love to be able to do those wonderful things.

I shouldn't really be surprised where this friend is concerned.  We have had some extra-ordinary life experiences which have drawn us together, taken us apart again and then one day in July of 2007 after 15 years of not seeing one another something stranger than fiction happened.  I was helping a friend move into her new flat in West London when I overhead somebody taking messages off a telephone answering machine.  As my friend was talking to herself and repeating the name of the last caller on the answer-phone, to give to her landlady, I heard the name of my friend Sarah who I had lost contact with.  When the landlady arrived home and her messages were passed on, I asked her if by any chance this person called Sarah was the one that I had said goodbye to about 15 years ago at Heathrow Terminal 3 as she was heading out to India.  As it turned out, it was the very same person.  Not only that, she was best of friends with this lady that I have only met 2 days prior.  When I spoke to Sarah that evening, she told me that she had been thinking about me and she was not in the least bit surprised that I had shown up. 

You may have heard that expression that 'people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime' and I always think about this when I meet new people or are re-acquainted with old ones.  Destiny has a way of putting people together, making connections so that their work can be done.  Who would ever have believed that I could have re-established contact with somebody who I had no idea where she was.  I smile each day that little miracles like this show up and of course I keep looking for them all the more.  Look for your miracles and notice them showing up.