You can spend untold hours looking at what you don't have, what could have been or what you have missed out on.  The truth is, what has gone has gone.  Lamenting is such a waste of energy.  Your thoughts can create energy or drain your resources.  You get to choose!  The quaility of your thoughts dictate how good you feel.  How good do you want to feel?  What kind of thoughts give you good feelings?  I bet you are already starting to think about things that make you feel good - right? 

You can think your way to a better life by policing the quality of your thoughts.  From time to time, negativity might creep in un-noticed, however, your body is a great barometer for unwanted feelings.  The body responds to the neuro transmitters in the brain.  Keeping in a positive state with good thoughts will increase the quality of your life.  It is a simple equation really.  Your happiness and contentment will increase proportionatley to the number of good thoughts and pictures that you make.  When you look back through photographs where you noticed you were happy and having fun, you probably pondered a while to absorb the good feelings.  Remeber that you have libraries of photograph albums in your mind.  They are multi-dimensional, that is to say, they generate feelings and sounds as well as pictures.  Think your way back to a better life and start enjoying your positive thoughts. 

It struck me a while back, whilst working on the cross-trainer in my local gym, just how easy it is to create a highly attuned relationship between your thoughts and your body's behaviour.  I noticed that every time I got on that particular machine, I would go through an almost robotic routine of entering; the desired programme, i.e. cardio, my weight and then my age.  When I turned 46, I was still anchored into keying in 45 when I got onto the machine.  It was so automatic.  Interestingly, when I did increase to the age of 46, my target heart rate was reduced.  I didn't like that.  So I decided to stay at 45 for another year. 

What you project in life will invariably determine the results that you get.  For me, projecting a feeling and a mindset of being younger than my measure of years, I got a far more fulfilling work-out, both physiologically and psychologically.  I also decided to project the desired weight that I wanted to be.  I dropped my actual weight by 2 kilos and focused on that every time I got on the machine.  The intensity of that focus produced the desired result within 4 weeks.  Admittedly I ate sensibly and continued to exercise.  Something wonderful happens when you give yourself a set of repeated instructions - they are accepted by your unconscious mind.  Thoughts become things!  Seeing my age and weight 3-4 times per week just re-enforced my inner belief about my 'state' and of course it produced a great result.  Although I am not actually a year younger, I probably feel a good 2 years younger and my weight dropped to exactly where I wanted it to be.

What are you projecting?  What do you want to project?  What is the desired result you are looking for?  How can you remind yourself of where it is you are heading?  Take some action today and project something that is worth stretching for and then keep looking at, imagining it and feeling it. 

If you subscribe to my newsletter you will already have seen this thread.  If you don't and you would like to, send me an email with the word 'Subscribe' in the subject line to: info@a-wonderful-life.com .  How much of your time do you spend in fear?  An hour a day, a couple of hours, half of the day or more?  How much of that time could be spent enjoying peace of mind, joy or laughter?  Think about it.  I came across this acronym a few years ago and had filed it away in a little drawer in my mind, until a colleague of mine reminded me of it again last week.  Remember that 80-90% of things that we worry about will never actually happen!  I will say that again, 80-90% of things that we worry about will never actually happen!  Fear is just False Evidence Appearing Real. 

The next time that you find yourself being fearful remember this acronym.  Examine the facts, the evidence.......and remember that it may appear to be real AND there is a very good chance that it is just an illusion.  If you have learnt to make scary pictures in your mind that disturb or frighten you, it might be time to do something else, after all, you know how to make pictures that give you a good feeling don't you?  Yes, of course you do, so what is preventing you from doing that more often?  People are amazed when they discover that they can control their state just by making better quality pictures that make them feel better.  What do you need to think about to make yourself feel good.  Think about all the things you can do with the reclaimed energy you will get from getting off the worry wheel.  You deserve to feel better and now you know the odds of bad things happening, it's time to relax a bit more. 

If you could have absolutely anything your heart desired, what would be your ideal present?  What immediately springs to mind?  Are you finding it hard to think of something?  The truth is, what is ideal today is going to going to change tomorrow.  If you have children you will be all too familiar with this concept.  If you don't have children, think back to a time when you were one yourself.  If you are out shopping right now for Christmas gifts, how do you decide what the ideal present will be for you to give this Christmas.  Do you take time to carefully research what your loved one or friends will actually want or do buy based on your own preferences and hope that they will like it? 

Often the greatest results can be achieved from 'standing' in that person's shoes and imagining what is important to them.  What would be an ideal present for them?  What would they attach value to?  If you run a business or you sell in any capacity, this is a strategy that you would do well to master.  I can recommend a brilliant book called 'Influence, Science & Practise' by Dr Robert Cialdini.  If you are interested in finding out what influences people's decisions, then this book is fascinating.

Are you happy where you are right now?  This is another kind of ideal present - the 'here and now'.  I know a number of people who pack so much activity into their day, they never really get the chance to experience the present because they are forever planning for the future.  I like to make an important distinction between human beings and human doings.  We are of course beings, yet we so often forget the being part.  We are locked into doing.  If you don't spend much time in the present, how will you ever know if it is idea or not (apart from the times when you take a long overdue holiday and you experience lying in the sun and feeling the warmth on your body).  If you don't like your present and it is far from ideal, then you need to do something to change it.  If you don't then you have to be responsible for the consequences of putting up with something that is not idea. 

Give yourself an ideal present this Christmas and write down some goals for the year ahead and get into the mindset of actually having the the thing, person, opportunity, windfall or job that you want.

When was the last time that you felt abundant in anything?  What does abundance mean to you?  How would you know if you had abundance?  What would you be feeling, hearing, seeing, tasting and smelling?  If you have clarity about the answers to all of those questions then you are about to step into a much more resourceful place.  Every book that you are likely to read about the laws of attraction, be it 'The Secret' or 'Cosmic Ordering' or even Esther and Jerry Hicks' book 'Ask and It Is Given' will remind you about the importance of feeling the very thing that you want to manifest.

If you are not a natural kinaesthetic person (feeling person) then this might take a little more work.  By the way, for me, abundance is a feeling of having, and expecting infinite, wealth, success, happiness, joy, health and inspiration.  I expect that things will just come my way.  Like waiting for the postman to deliver an exciting letter that contains great exam results, a job offer or notification that I have just received a large sum of money.  Expectation of good and limitless things is a great way to attract abundance into your life.

There are lots of ways that you can feel abundant.  One might be to wear something you know you look and feel good in.  It might be wearing an expensive watch or piece of jewellery that just makes you feel great.  It may be going to eat at a restaurant that is particularly nice and not being concerned about the cost, simply feeling abundant and enjoying the experience.  In the lead up to Christmas we are encouraged to buy, buy buy.  It is a great time to exercise a little abundance and also to get clear about what kind of abundance you want in your life.  I remember the song title of a track on an old 1980's Frankie Goes to Hollywood album that said 'live your life like a diamond ring'.  I like that concept.  Are you inwardly focused or outwardly receptive to wealth and abundance.  If you are inwardly focused, do something today, tomorrow and every day this week for the rest of this month that gives you an experience of having abundance.  Then double, that feeling, treble it and remember to keep brining it back as often as possible.  It works!

When I first started blogging I was attending the Master NLP Practitioner Course run by Paul McKenna training.  I thought it was great opportunity to share the journey, the insights and to re-enforce the learning by presenting the information.  One of the fascinating areas of NLP for me is something called decision strategies.  Simplistically, they are the things that happen inside our mind that cause us to take action.

I never cease to be fascinated and amazed by things that come up in my client sessions.  For example, I come across people who take on a whole new persona in the workplace.  They get stuff done, shifted, dealt with, complete...........yet in their personal lives, things don't happen.  They apply a whole new set of strategies to the things they do outside of work.  Looking at this logically, sometimes it is merely a case of some people being more motivated to do things for others, rather than for themselves, or it may be pure competition.  You want to do better than somebody else.  You want to look better than somebody else.  That is absolutely fine in my book.  You see the truth is, most people get a little uncomfortable when they disclose their egoic ambitions.  They think it is wrong or unattractive to display such traits.  I always remind my clients that I am not here to judge, I am fascinated to discover how they do what they do, i.e. the stuff that works.  For example, take a strategy that works for you in the workplace.  There is always a moment, a point, a place at which you decide to take action.  Something clicks doesn't it?  You get a green light somewhere in your mind and then comes certainty.

Examine your decision strategies.  Notice what happens when you decide to do something.  What sequence of events occur that lead up to you making the decision and then actually taking action.  Everybody can find a place in their lives where they have a decision strategy that works when stuff gets done.  All you have to do is to sift through your experience and remember what worked for you.  When the penny drops, you will discover that there are now a whole raft of things that you can handle with ease. 

Blogs this week are the subject of "The Four Agreements" by author Don Miguel Ruiz.  For those who have just joined us, you might like to go back to Tuesday's blog so that you can follow the rest of the thread.

'Don't Take Anything Personally' is the second agreement taken from the book.  This one is no more or less challenging than the other three.  You may have adopted some habits over the years that make this an interesting one for you.  Has anybody ever told you that 'it is nothing personal' when you have not been selected for a team, or a job or maybe you have been made redundant.  For most people, the very nature of those words give you an embedded command that you will take it personally.  It is a quirk of the English language and for anybody out there with NLP skills, you will appreciate what I am talking about. 

Remember that what other people say and do is a reflection of their own reality, not necessarily yours, unless of course you make that choice.  Immunise yourself to the words and intentions of those around you who do not support you.  Their opinions are just that, opinions.  Newspapers are full of them.  You get to choose what you make them mean.  If you choose to be affected by them, you may be choosing unnecessary suffering.

Adopting a coat of armour or visualising a glass bell surrounding you and protecting you is a good strategy to allow you to just let things slide away.  Letting words just 'wash over you' is a great strategy.  Remember that they are only words and they are somebody else s's words.  Whenever you find yourself tempted to let your emotions be affected, just remember that your own opinions and feelings are the ones that count. 

...............24 little hours, as the song goes.  You know that one don't you?  Well for those of you who feel stuck in a place you might not want to be right now, this should be a useful little tune that you now find yourself humming at the most unexpected moments.  Music is a great cue to remind you of a particular state of mind or an idea.  As a hypnotherapist and an NLP practitioner, I use this all the time in client work.  Television advertisers use it too.  Have you ever found yourself hearing just one word, and then playing back a tune in your head?  I'll bet you have!  It is called anchoring.  For example....whenever anybody gives me their email address and it happens to be a Yahoo address...........I can hear that quirky yahooooooooooooooooooooooooo jingle in my mind.  That means that the advertisers set up an association in my mind between a word and a sound. 

You can set up associations between lots of different things.  Smells, tastes, touches, sounds and sights.  They can all be linked to 'states' of mind.  States when you can achieve marvellous things with joy and enthusiasm!  What do want to achieve?  How would you like to feel when you are doing it?  What do you remember about feeling on top of the world?  How great has your greatest feeling ever been?  Your biggest orgasm, your heartiest laugh, your most excited experience?  Well imagine taking all of those things and then multiplying them by 10!  Outrageous isn't it!  How much pleasure can you stand?  When you feel great, you achieve amazing things.  Your body produces great chemicals like endorphins, dopamine, serotonin and many more. 

Put a marker in this day - wherever you find yourself, and get a butterfly feeling in your stomach as you remember the days when you have felt greatness!  Now prepare to have more of those days.  Remember what a difference a day makes and that you get to choose what you put into your day and how you feel about it.  You can accept that it may be unreasonable to feel elated all of the time, yet you can easily increase the frequency of those good times and enjoy firing off your anchors whenever you need them.  All you need to remember is what makes you feel good and then link it to a picture, a sound, a feeling or a taste, exaggerate it then keep repeating it until your cue instantly creates that feeling or state. 

At any given moment there are thousands of bits of information swirling around in your mind.  Endless thoughts competing for your attention.  What's more, your thoughts have a voice don't they?  You talk to yourself.  We all talk to ourselves!  There is nothing unusual about that.  Have you ever stopped and noticed what kind of tone your voice has, or the way it actually speaks to yo?  For example, when you have done something wrong, does your inner dialogue berate you in an authoritarian kind of tone?  Perhaps one that you remember hearing when you were a little person?  If it does then try changing the sound of your dialogue - the cartoon voices from Pinky and Perky work for me.............like my dialogue has been accelerated 10 fold.  It makes light of what could have been a tongue lashing.  Try it out for yourself, see what happens.  You can do all sorts of wacky things, like slowing it down or adopting a sultry and sexy kind of tone.  It gives you a different experience. 

Now that you have your attention on your inner dialogue and thoughts, it is good to notice what you think about most of the time.   What is getting most of your attention?  Are you worrying and fretting a lot about your job, money, relationship or the state of the economy, or are you daydreaming inspired thoughts about great achievements, laughter, laying on a white sandy beach or having mind blowing sex?  You see it is really up to you.  Whatever you put most of your attention on, will surely come to you.  If you are worrying about stuff, you are attracting it to you.  As vibrational beings, we send out waves of energy that attract like energies.  The worrying energy is very low frequency energy, heavy energy that attracts more of the same.  Inspired energy on the other hand, is very high vibrational energy.  What are you transmitting the most?  What is coming to find you? 

So bearing in mind that thoughts become things, you probably want to spend more time thinking about the things you want to attract into your life, rather than things that you don't want.   Now here's the thing, many of my clients ask me how to stop thinking about the things they don't want.  I always tell them that the effort that goes into not doing something is the wrong kind of effort.  Replace the thoughts with others that feel better.  If you need a visual prop, like a photo or an object to remind you of the thing(s) you want to attract, then that will work really well.  You might prefer to hear things, or feel things that remind you of what you want.  Surround yourself with reminders of the positive outcomes you want to attract.  Now start to think about them more and more often.  As you put your vibrational energy into thoughts, you will soon notice that those thoughts become things.  Whatever you want is just a thought away. 

Have you noticed that some people absolutely thrive on solving problems?  There are some who actively seek out problems and make a career out of troubleshooting potentially problematic situations.  You often hear couples speak of their partners in this way "oh he likes a challenge!"  or "she's not happy unless she has something to worry about". Of course not all problems mean that you need to worry, in fact quite the opposite.  Worrying achieves nothing at all, other than expending your valuable energy that you could be using to do something far more interesting.

There are some problems in life that sometimes just seem too big.  If you have succumbed to the news lately, you can hardly help but miss some really big problems that financial institutions and airlines have been facing.  Of course problems come in many different forms and their magnitude is largely dictated by the attitude that you apply to them.  It can be as big or as small as you choose it to be.  In NLP terms we call this re-framing.  When people view their problems a certain way, it is useful to present an alternative perspective so that they can see things from a different angle.

If you have ever read Viktor Frankl's "Mans Search for Meaning" you will understand how some people survive the worst adversity by adjusting their mental attitude.  Viktor Frankl was a survivor of the Nazi concentration camps during the second world war.  He was an Austrian Psychiatrist who deduced that it was man's search for meaning in life that allowed him to survive.  He developed a unique approach to therapy that became known as 'Logotherapy'.  It is not a book for the feint hearted, yet it is a very powerful insight into human behaviour.

If you have a problem that is seemingly just too big for your to handle or there is no apparent solution, try handing it over.  What do I mean by that?, well, it is really like this - if you reach the conclusion that you cannot truly find a solution, then you will be wasting energy and effort in trying to do something that you may not have the resources to do.  If you believe in a God, the universe of something else, just mentally say to yourself "I now freely and completely hand this over to the divine forces (universe/God..........delete as appropriate) in the knowledge that I know a solution will be forthcoming.  I now choose to regain my valuable energy and trust that all will be well."

For those of you who live in a more cerebral or scientific world, this will undoubtedly be stretch for you, it will also bring you the biggest reward if you are prepared to gather some new evidence.  Go ahead, just hand it over.